我们的故事2000

Katie:That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city. I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine. And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang. The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply here does it? What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.

在Kaman课上看过大半的片段之后，今天终于完整地看了这个电影。

电影里有一个片段，印象很深刻，在车子里争吵到僵持不下的夫妻二人，打开车门面对孩子的瞬间，马上换上了欢乐的笑容和热情的拥抱。记起小时候有一阵子，爸妈吵得特别厉害，每次争得面红耳赤的时候，妈妈总是会说：要不是为了孩子，我就跟你离婚。过了那些磕磕绊绊的日子，爸妈走到现在，虽然偶尔还是会拌嘴，在我看来却成了他们生活的调味剂。很多次晚上打电话回家，妈妈在用电脑，爸爸陪在一边看电视，我想象着那幅画面，心中总是特别温暖。从来没有问过妈妈，这么多年过来到现在，还会后悔当初的选择吗？当时会让这段婚姻继续的，究竟真的是因为孩子，还是因为爱情。

婚姻是浪漫爱情的坟墓？

婚姻生活，在真实的柴米油盐繁杂琐事中，是否还能保持感情的浪漫新鲜？或者平凡的日子过着过着，却总是会成为相互的指责和抱怨，并且无止尽的积累。不知道每一个新郎新娘在许下“我愿意”这一诺言的时候，是否想到了今后将要面对的一切。真实生活中的一切琐碎，对方每一个可能会让你抓狂的习惯癖好细节，你可以平淡的接受一切，不后悔不抱怨吗？

很多时候，争吵就是这样毫无理由地开始。前一分钟，两个人还是亲密无间，却可能只为一句话，你无心说，我却对号入座，我指责，你也开始生气，原本一个简单的意思，却越扯越偏，接着把当年陈芝麻烂谷子的旧账全部翻出来，愈演愈烈，于是一个小的争执演变成了一场彻头彻尾的大争吵。你发怒，我摔门而出。

你总是这样！你能不能替我考虑一点！你能不能体谅我一下！你能不能讲点道理!

在争吵里，我们习惯了用自己的思维去思考，抱怨的是为什么TA不能多理解我一点。相互体谅，真的远没有说出来这么容易。而这种抱怨，会积累，导致了在争吵中的两个人，往往是失去理智的。明明相爱，却在那个时候说出最严厉的职责，恶言相对。这样一次次的对心的伤害，哪怕将来再想起来，也会隐隐作痛吧？

我想最好的办法，是在争吵开始就叫停，在那些互相伤害的话说出口之前就叫停。冷静下来的两个人，想一想，不过是一句话，说清楚就好了，何必那么计较那些鸡毛蒜皮。

MM说看完这个电影，她对婚姻彻底绝望，对爱情也不抱希望。我倒相反。

婚姻不是爱情的坟墓，是爱情另一个真实的开始。而让婚姻成为坟墓的，只是里面的人而已，是他们自己给自己铸了那个坟墓。从来都知道经营爱情不容易，而经营婚姻更不容易。纵然我现在也害怕争吵，厌恶争吵，还是希望能够遇到一个会在争吵开始跟我叫停的人，我们用我们的方式化解，live mostly happily ever after.

这是我对未来婚姻最美好的期待。

       在Eric Clapton的反复吟唱中，Bruce对着镜头说，我觉得最浪漫的爱情故事就是，两人偶遇，坠入爱河，然后五六十年后，其中一个撒手人寰，没过几天另一个也告别人世，因为无法忍受失去对方独活。其实这也是我认为最浪漫的爱情故事。两个相爱的人，执子之手与子偕老。只是，中间那五六十年的光阴，那琐碎的磨人的生活的真相，不可能像小说或童话一笔点过，它要我们分分秒秒实实在在去感受。那其中有love也有hate，有欢乐也难免争吵，而我们都需扮演好自己的角色，全情投入。
    
    故事很简单。曾经相知相爱的两人，度过15年的婚姻生活，育有一双儿女，在孩子面前维持温馨和睦的假象，实际上却倍感疲惫倦怠。当节节升级的争吵由偶尔爆发变成家常便饭，当两人独处时只剩沉默，直视前方无聊的电视节目，目光从不相交，当两人之间除了对孩子的爱已找不出任何共同点，对于这段看来无路可走的婚姻，两人都已力不从心，于是分居，甚而协议离婚。即使PPS抽风得单词几乎是一个个蹦出来，从两人商定离婚起，我几乎一路哭到尾。我怕，同样的情形会发生在你我之间。

    虽然不在同一张床上，两人都在想着对方，回忆过去的甜蜜时光；当她说It's over，他看不到关门后她崩溃的泪水；他和她，思及婚姻现况，抱着孩子先后痛哭出声。当他敞开心扉说出自己的high就是与她在一起的此刻，而low就是与她分别的every minutes of the past two weeks，她不禁动容，只是两个人的和谐几分钟后就演变成六个人的争吵。当他在饭店里大吵大闹情绪失控，在店外想起过往种种潸然泪下，鼓起勇气让朋友Take me to Katie's，对她坦承"My high is about you. Tonight I saw myself through your eyes, and I am sorry!"给彼此最后一个机会，却看到屋中另外一个男人，满腔热情立马被浇熄，转身绝然离去，却看不到她眼中挥之不去的浓浓失望。他租的新居冰箱里备齐她喜欢的所有种类饮料。他戴上手表，因为她希望他准时。明明还余情未了，却谁都不敢跨出主动的一步，或许，两人都在努力，却总是时机不对。假如，我是说假如，我们之间真的到了这一步，请你一定主动说，This is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, let's give it another try.

       夫妻俩始终都是有差异的，先不论男女性别本质导致的思维差异，家庭背景、生长环境、教育方式都会导致价值观的差异和性格上的不协调。片中的Ben是个作家，生性自由散漫，就像拿着画笔的Harold，随意不羁，casual & spontaneous，而Katie却非常有计划性，生活井井有条，凡事依照日程，punctual & ordered。与我们何其相似，只是我是女版的Ben，而你是男版的Katie。可是，两个人既然在一起，就要求同存异。虽然有差异，谁缺了谁也不行。就像Ben的车总需要Katie为他加清洁液，需要Katie为他导航。

    当那个明显配角的牙科医生出现，你问我，你不会在我们出现问题时走近另一个人吧？我拒绝回答这么ridiculous的question。你说我知道这是一个插曲，女主角是个好妻子，但人都有脆弱和崩溃的时候。其实在漫长的围城岁月中，在磨人的生活中，我们都难免偶尔wonder, Is this who I really am or is this who I am with this person? Maybe there's another version of my life, of myself, a happier one. 但我知道，this version of me only exsits until I met you. After all, everybody gonna have traits and get on your nerves, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits?

       最后一段催人泪下的表白，我看到豆瓣上有quotes，但我等你听译，我希望你用心去听，这样你才会记得。
    Life isn't clear-cut, life is gray. The whole notion of staying together and living happily ever after, all illusions. The hard time that bring us together, nobody said it was gonna be easy. It's harder, it's much harder than I thought it would be. But there is more good than bad and you don't just give up, because we are an "US". There's a history here, histories don't happen over night, 你了解我的喜怒哀乐，我对你的脾性了如指掌，That's a dance we perfect over time.

Remember, I'm nothing without you. Let's live MOSTLY happily ever after. I hope so, I do…

　Katie:That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us.
There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city.
I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up!
And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine.
And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang.
The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply here does it?

 What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.

    在与男朋友大吵后遭遇这部电影。
  几乎一开始就被吸引了。目不转睛。我爱你，我恨你，觉得自己很努力，可是所有的力气用出去却归于虚无。那种精疲力尽的无力感。不甘。愤怒。害怕。委屈。失望。伤心。
   看到演过无数银幕硬汉的布鲁斯威利斯脸红脖子粗的争吵，一个人在饭店门口落下泪来。从那一刻我就被击中，跟着哭，一直哭到结束，结束后抱着男友继续哭。
   大爱女主角最后的努力。在真的要失去的时候她拒绝失去，她语无伦次，她喋喋不休，她说我不想放弃这座旧城。原来，在无目的的生活中，你给我的开心与伤心，一起经历的种种，将你变成我的一部分，无法割舍。
   爱，并不只是最初遇见你是那种眩晕的甜蜜，更是在无数琐碎生活和无心重伤后彼此的珍惜爱护宽容。

虽然很少看见对此的推荐，但是在无意间看到此片的时候，我还是流泪了。里边有很多的对话值得深思，在无意之间道出了爱情和家庭的真谛，可能它并不浪漫，但却非常的真实！